I would recommend starting with the Online Help for ArcGIS Server 10.0 - I have assumed you are working with .NET.
Whenever I am picking up a new piece of software I will usually try to skip that and see what I can do intuitively first but inevitably it is only be reading and re-reading relevant parts of the documentation that I start to understand how it has been designed to operate.
Once you have opened the box and tried to follow the instructions you will be able to describe what you tried and where the observed behaviour of the software started to deviate from what you would expect having read its documentation.