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The Soapbox allows you to stand up and have a rant, tell a bad joke, complain about someone or post stuff that that may not be appropriate for reading at work and/or isn't strictly IT industry related. It is rated M. Do not post anything offensive or which breaches the Terms of Use. Do not post programming questions (use the programming forums for that) and please don't post ads.

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JokeItalian's Honeymoon Experience in the US
Vivic22hrs 26mins ago
memberVivic22hrs 26mins ago 
After returning from his honeymoon with his bride Virginia, Luigi stopped by his old barbershop in Jersey to say hello to his friends.

Giovanni said, "Hey Luigi, how wasa da treep down to Florida ?"

Luigi replied, "Everything wasa perfecto except for da train ride down."

"Whata you mean, Luigi?" asked Giovanni.

"Well, we boarda da train at Grana Central Station. My beautiful Virginia, she packa big basket a food. ... She brought da vino, some nice cigars for me, and we were lookina forward to da trip, and open upa da luncha basket. The conductore come a by, waga his finger at us anda say, 'No eat indisa car. Musta use a dining car..'

So, me and my beautiful Virginia, we go to da dining car, eat a biga lunch and starta at open da bottle of a nice a vino! Conductore walka by again, waga his finger and say, 'No drinka in disa car! Musta use a cluba car.'

So, we go to cluba car. While a drinkina da vino, I starta to lighta my biga cigar the conductore, he waga 'is finger again and say, 'No a smokina disa car. Musta go to a smokina car ..'

So we go to a smokina car and I Smoke a my biga cigar.

Then my beautiful Virginia and I, we go to our sleeper car anda go to bed. We just about to go boombada boombada .... And the conductore, he walka through da hallway shouting at a top of his a voice.. 'Nofolk Virginia ! Nofolk Virginia !'

"Nexta time, I'm a just gonna taka bus?"

GeneralRe: Italian's Honeymoon Experience in the US
Richard MacCutchan21hrs 45mins ago
protectorRichard MacCutchan21hrs 45mins ago 
Ah, the oldies are the best.
GeneralResponse to OG about wonderful Tory victory...
Karel Čapek8-May-15 7:59
memberKarel Čapek8-May-15 7:59 
OriginalGriff wrote:
So, will he come back, with or without his tail between his legs?


Probably not: the parties like you to stand and lose once or twice before they give you a better seat.

Very happy to see the Tories rout Labor and especially pleased that the Lib-Dems have gone the way of the DoDo. Sadly, my friend lost his seat. I'm sure he'll be fine with his gold-plated pension of his full salary for life (if you win 2 elections you get your full salary, win only one and you get half, I have been told). Smile | :)

GeneralRe: Response to OG about wonderful Tory victory...
Dan Neely8-May-15 8:52
memberDan Neely8-May-15 8:52 
The real question, IMO is if DD will come here and start pissing and moaning about his loss; or go to the pub, get pissed and make inexplicable drunkposts on the lounge.
 
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, waging all things in the balance of reason?
Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful?
--Zachris Topelius

Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies.
-- Sarah Hoyt

JokeRe: Response to OG about wonderful Tory victory...
RyanDev8-May-15 9:05
mvpRyanDev8-May-15 9:05 
Dan Neely wrote:
about his loss
It's the people's loss man. Get it right! Mad | :mad:
 
There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.

GeneralBJOTD
JimmyRopes7-May-15 19:47
professionalJimmyRopes7-May-15 19:47 
Bad joke of the day

A charity pantomime in aid of Paranoid Schizophrenics and Homosexuals
descended into chaos yesterday when somebody shouted 'He's behind you!'

I'll get my coat. Sigh | :sigh:
 

Once you lose your pride the rest is easy.

In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you. – Buddha

Simply Elegant Designs JimmyRopes Designs


GeneralRe: BJOTD
den2k887-May-15 21:25
professionalden2k887-May-15 21:25 
It sucks as a joke but I'd use it as a comparison with situations.
I sometimes refer to poorly managed things as "lead by a deaf who brings the orders of the mute that tells what the blind saw". I'll get my coat too.
Geek code v 3.12 {
     GCS d--- s-/++ a- C++++ U+++ P- L- E-- W++ N++ o+ K- w+++ O? M-- V? PS+ PE- Y+ PGP t++ 5? X R++ tv-- b+ DI+++ D++ G e++>+++ h--- r++>+++ y+++*
     Weapons extension: ma- k++ F+2 X
}

GeneralNow a VBJOTD
HobbyProggy7-May-15 21:40
professionalHobbyProggy7-May-15 21:40 
A deaf and a blind are playing a concert...
The blind to the deaf: "Are they dancing already?"
The deaf to the blind: "Why? Are we playing already?"

I#ll get my coat
 
if(this.signature != "")
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else
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GeneralRe: Now a VBJOTD
Pirate Guy7-May-15 21:57
memberPirate Guy7-May-15 21:57 
How does the deaf hear what the blind says to him when he can't hear the music? Poke tongue | ;-P
I ain't got no signature.

GeneralRe: Now a VBJOTD
HobbyProggy7-May-15 22:00
professionalHobbyProggy7-May-15 22:00 
It's a joke, so no need to be reasonable, by the way the blind may talk in deaf-hand-wave-language (dunno the correct name).

But it's like clowny jokes, i mean how can it be the clownfish is not funny at all?
(Because he tries to be reasonable and explains everything)
 
if(this.signature != "")
{
    MessageBox.Show("This is my signature: " + Environment.NewLine + signature);
}
else
{
    MessageBox.Show("404-Signature not found");
}

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