Empowering Parents.

Strengthening Families.

Connecting Communities.

Practical Tools to Help Families Cope with Challenging Behaviors

We are two psychologists from different backgrounds and different journeys to parenthood (foster, adoptive, biological, kinship). We use evidence-based practice to help families find peace in the era of misinformation and inundation. Personally and professionally, we relate to the joys and confusion of parenting. We also know parents experience a disconnect between what professionals advise and in-the-trenches parenting. Our approach is authentic, vulnerable, humorous, and connected while also being structured and rooted in science. Together, we will help you discover or rediscover your true values and make your day-to-day actions consistent with what matters most to you.

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Self-paced, practical courses in child behavior, parenting, and mental health.

“The connections we had to the group leaders were a main benefit of this program. We felt like we are not alone in our challenges.”

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Science and Connection for Authentic Living

“This program focused and refined my parenting and that of my partner making us a more consistent and cohesive co-parenting team. It also built confidence in our son.”

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Authoritative parenting, which is a style of parenting characterized by high warmth and boundaries, is strongly related to child well-being. Kids feel safe when we’re predictable, follow through with what we say, and set limits. We’re not going to get this right every time, and that’s okay! Big picture. Balance and evidence. Happy Sunday, HFT family. #positiveparentingtips #positiveparenting #mindfulparenting #momlife #dadlife #momstruggles #momstrong #momsofteens #momssupportingmoms #momsofboys #momsofmultiples #motherhoodunplugged #motherhoodjourney #motherhoodishard #parentinglife #parentingtips #parentingishard #parentinginapandemic #parentingjourney #parentinghacks #resilientkids #emotionaliq #childpsychology #childdevelopment #childmilestones #parenting101 #seattlemom #vancouvermom #washingtonmom
“You’re embarrassing me!” “How can you have been so careless?!” “I can’t believe you would do that!” If you find these phrases rolling off your tongue, it’s likely because you’ve had a lot of practice saying them to yourself. “I’m an embarrassment.” “I’m so stupid.” “Why can’t I do anything right?” The way we talk to our children is often a reflection of how we talk to our kids. The first step in treating our kids with grace and compassion is giving it to ourselves. #momofmultiples #momofboys #tiredmom #raisingboys #raisinglittles #kindkids #momminainteasy #2under2 #3under3 #firsttimemom #parentprobs #parentingishard #parentingtips #singlemom #singledad #workingmomlife #sahmom #parentingtheshitoutoflife #parentingdoneright #toddlerlife #toddlermom #toddlermommy #threenager
🌈Please hear us - if you child struggles with anxiety, it's not your fault! Anxiety disorders are the most common psychiatric condition in youth. There are many reasons that some kids are more prone to anxious thinking including genetics and temperament. As parents, we can affect the trajectory of anxiety. Sometimes, with the very best of intentions, we do things that actually increase our kid's anxiety. 📖 Parental accommodation refers to parent behaviors that attempt to prevent or reduce child distress associated with participation in age-appropriate activities and/or exposure to feared stimuli. We totally understand why parental accommodation occurs -- it's hard to see our kid struggle! 😩 The problem is that when we do this, we actually reinforce the belief that the situation is in fact dangerous (when it's not). This worsens anxiety long term. 🌱Instead of accommodating, try shifting to support. 🌱Validate your child's anxiety and demonstrate belief in their ability to handle it. 🌱Equip your kids with coping tools and help them gradually face their fears. 🌱Praise and reward bravery! If you find your child's anxiety is getting in the way of their day-to-day life, consider reaching out to a provider who practices cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), an evidence-based intervention for anxiety in kids. 💓 Thanks to the wonderful ladies at @thechildhoodcollective for teaming up with us on this post to share this important message 💓 #positiveparenting #busytoddler #parentingtips #momssupportingmoms #mindfulparenting #discipline #toddlertips #rieparenting #childbehavior #parentingskills #parentingquote #parentingtip #parentinghelp #parentingtip #childpsychologist #preschoolerlife #bigfeelings #childtherapist #toddlermomlife #consciousparenting #toddlermeltdown #parenting101 #anxiety #childhoodanxiety
Many of us are struggling today. I couldn’t sleep last night with everything happening. Kids can sense this. They know when things aren’t right. Rather than pretending you’re okay, share you feelings in an age-appropriate manner while reassuring your child that they are safe and loved. This goes for today and any time you’re struggling. This models healthy coping rather than suppressing emotions. Kids need to know they have safe adults who they can talk to about hard topics, even when we don’t have the answers. . . . . . #parenting101 #mindfulparenting #respectfulparenting #evidencebasedpractice #hardtruths #mentalhealth #mentalhealthmatters #parentingbeyonddiscipline #parenting #momminainteasy #momlife #dadlife #positiveparenting
Often, it’s the simplest things that make our little ones feel the most loved. A quick hug, a silly song, a few minutes of play. As Dr. John Gottman (the marriage and relationship expert) says, “small things often.” We like to think of positive interactions as filling up a child’s emotional piggy bank. We are inevitably going to withdraw money from the bank whenever we give instructions, place demands, ask questions, etc. We want to make sure we’re keeping the bank full to withstand all those withdrawals. What is one thing you will to TODAY to fill your child’s piggy bank? #positiveparenting #busytoddler #parentingtips #momssupportingmoms #mindfulparenting #discipline #toddlertips #rieparenting #childbehavior #parentingskills #parentingquote #parentingtip #parentinghelp #parentingtip #childpsychologist #preschoolerlife #bigfeelings #childtherapist #toddlermomlife #consciousparenting #toddlermeltdown #parenting101 #evidencebasedpractice #childtherapy
Put a ❤️ below if you can relate to this balancing act! 🌈 Parenting behaviors have been shown to affect a range of child outcomes including behavior problems, eating patterns, and depression. 💜 The parenting style that has been consistently shown to have the best outcomes is an Authoritative parenting style, which combines high warmth with boundaries. Authoritative parenting is associated with less depression*, less substance use**, and better eating habits***. I like to imagine this as a seesaw. We are striving to have both kindness and firmness with our children. If we have too little of either, things become unbalanced. So what can this look like? We have high (age-appropriate) expectations. We engage in problem solving and give our kids a voice in family matters. We validate and listen. We set limits and enforce rules. Now, not every single interaction has to be perfect. We’re talking big picture here! *Milevsky, A. et al. (2007). Maternal and paternal parenting styles in adolescents: Associations with self-esteem, depression and life-satisfaction. Journal of child and family studies. 16 (1), 39-47, 2007 **Piko, B. & Balazs, MA (2012). Authoritative parenting style and adolescent smoking and drinking. Addictive Behaviors. 37(3), 353-356. ***Arlinghaus, K.R. et al. (2018). American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, 108(4): 730–736. #parentingtips #parentingtipsandtricks #momofmultiples #newmomlife #3under3 #2under2 #momoflittles #momprobs #momstruggles #momlifeishard #parentingishard #montessoritoddler #montessoriathome #montessoriactivity #childrensmentalhealth #fourthtrimester #teachersofig #motherhoodjourney #parentingtheshitoutoflife #realmomlife #tiredmommy #sahmlife #parentproblems #momstruggles #parentinglife #momstrong #confidentkids #happykidshappymom
Parenting in the real world often looks different than the parenting scripts on Instagram! I’m sure most of us try to be skillful in our interactions with our kids, but we’re going to have moments that are less than stellar. And that’s okay! There will always be moments of discord that occur in relationships—it’s what we do after those moments that’s important. Let’s take the example of a child spilling her milk. The least ideal parent behavior would be a big, negative reaction. The most ideal would be the parent taking a moment to regulate by taking deep breaths, then responding a calm, confident manner. So what’s 2nd best? What to we do when the rupture has occurred? The answer is to repair! What does repair look like? A genuine apology, a warm hug, or giving your child your full attention can all be ways we repair moments of discord. So while we aim for the most ideal responses, sometimes 2nd best is real life. #positiveparentingtips #parentingtips #mindfulparenting #parentinglife #momlife #dadlife #givingchoices #momssupportingmoms #motherhoodunplugged #emotionalintelligencecoach #parentcoach #resilientkids #growthmindset #momstruggles #momstruggle #yougotthismama #youcandoitmama #parentingwin #parentingishard #parentingtip #emotionalintelligence #emotionalintelligencecoach #momstruggles #motherhoodjourney #motherhoodrising #fatherhoodunplugged #momstrength #momwin
Do you beat yourself up when you make parenting mistakes? Put a ❤️ if this is something you can relate to. Sometimes we have the mistaken belief that if we’re hard enough on ourselves we’ll do better in the future. But just like with our kids, when we feel better, we act better. More self-compassion is associated with better well-being (Neff & McGehee, 2010) and health promoting behavior (Sirois, Kitner, Hirsch, 2015). Next time you find yourself having a shaming internal dialogue, pause. Validate your feelings and practice self-compassion. This way of treating ourselves can be ready hard if we’re not used to it. The results are worth it though. Your well-being matters. Parents have to be okay for the kids to be okay. . . . . Neff, K.D. & McGehee,P. (2010). Self-compassion and psychological resilience among adolescents and young adults. Self and identity 9 (3), 225-240. Sirois, F.M., Kitner, R., & Hirsch, J.K. (2015). Self-compassion, affect, and health-promoting behaviors. Health Psychology 34 (6), 661. #positiveparentingtips #parentingtips #mindfulparenting #parentinglife #momlife #dadlife #givingchoices #momssupportingmoms #motherhoodunplugged #emotionalintelligencecoach #parentcoach #resilientkids #growthmindset #momstruggles #momstruggle #yougotthismama #youcandoitmama #parentingwin #parentingishard #parentingtip #emotionalintelligence #emotionalintelligencecoach #momstruggles #motherhoodjourney #motherhoodrising #fatherhoodunplugged #momstrength #momwin